No Air, Without You
by EMTCK
Summary: Nick leaves Jeff, and everything inside Jeff breaks down - But what happens when your one true love leaves, to never come back, and life get's unbearable? /Niff, Rated T for Angst, Language & Selfharm Thanks for reading


**First of all; **English is **NOT** my first language & I (sadly) don't own Glee, If I did, the **Warblers** would have their own show ~ And Klaine would've maked a sex-tape as well, just saying! *_thumbs_*

_Well, thank you if you're actually goind to read! **Enjo****y**_

**Without You **_– Niff Fanfiction._

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Dear Nicky.

Today it's been exactly a month since you left me, or rather left us. I'm not going to lie, things have been terrible, and I don't know what to do… Without you, I don't even know who I am.

The others are protecting me though, now where you aren't here to do it. They keep talking about you, though they try not to… They know how much the single thought about you, hurt me – But it's a bit naïve, don't you think? Do they honestly believe, I won't think about you every time I walk into our room? Or very time I look at the empty bed, besides mine? Or the fact, that you aren't here, by my side, twenty-four hours a day, like you used to?

I'm sorry I haven't been visiting you yet… I can't, I'm sorry; I'm just not strong enough. Blaine will be the one delivering my letters, and hopefully he'll place my flowers with you, too. It'll be Blaine, because I know he'll take the job serious. I know he want push me to anything.

I love you Nick and I'll forever be yours.

Loving, your Jeff.

* * *

Dear Nicky.

Everybody is starting to talk about Nationals and the audition to the solo… People really think it'll cheer me up, you know, if I'll go to the audition and get the solo. They keep telling me I should try to get something else on my mind, and maybe I'll forget you… A bit.

But again, that's naïve of course. The whole audition thing just makes me realize, how much I miss you. How much I miss your wonderful laughter, which echoed through the empty halls of Dalton. How much I miss your curly, dark brown, hair, between my fingers, or against my shoulder, moving in rhythm with the wind - Just how much I miss you, Nick. The feeling of knowing you're real.

I'm not going to the audition this year… I won't change our 3 6, I won't lose one more memory.

I love you Nick and I'll forever be yours.

Loving, your Jeff.

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Dear Nicky.

Today it's been almost two months since you disappeared, escaped, what you would like to call it. Since you left - Since you left, me. Not them, not the others, not anymore. For a few days, nobody has said one word about you… I can't gather the courage to actually let your name escape my lips.

I barely keep up with my classes anymore, but at least I make sure not to break down in front of the others. But then, when I've said goodnight, and I've locked our door, behind me… Everything is darkness, and you are there, you are everywhere.

It's like you never existed, other than I know you did.

Yesterday something happened; The Principal came by my room, and asked me if we could 'talk'. I actually got a little choked – I hadn't heard he was doing such things. He asked me, if it wouldn't be good for me, to get a new roommate… I said no, of course. I can't get a new roommate? You'll forever be my roommate Nick. Should I wake up every day, to a new, unknown face, when I was expecting the beautiful smiling face I used the see… Your face. And should I get use to how the unknown person would walk around in our room - when normally, you would've sneaked over in my bed, while I was sleeping, so you would be the first thing I saw in the morning? No.

So I said 'No thank you', as cold as my manners would allow me to.

Then he started asking, if 'we' shouldn't remove some of your things, we..? Well I'm not letting anyone touch your things, especially not someone I don't trust. I feel guilty even if I touch your stuff, and I'm sorry Nicky… But I'm falling asleep in your bed every night.

Still haven't visited you yet, I'm sorry, again. You were always the strong one… The one who pushed me to into the right direction. You were, and will always be, my light in the dark.

I love you Nick, and I'll forever be yours.

Loving, your Jeff.

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Dear Nicky.

I dreamt about you last night… I were here, by my side, you were the first thing I saw when I woke up, and the last thing I saw when I fell asleep in your arms.

When I woke up, I cried of happiness, before opening my eyes, seeing you weren't there, and my heart busted into pieces, and faded away. My happy-tears turned into frustrated, heartbroken, tears.

I haven't been to class today.

I love you Nick, and I miss more and more, for everyday, you smile isn't warming my heart, and your hand isn't in mine – Where it belongs.

I'll forever be yours.

Loving, your Jeff.

* * *

Dear Nicky.

So this is another letter, where I'm going to say sorry... I know you'll be glad to hear, that I'll be singing again, but again…

So the other Warblers decided to give me the solo, and when I said 'No thanks', they literally forced me. I know I haven't got you any letters for over three weeks now, but I couldn't, I'm so sorry. I just felt so guilty, and the only thing keeping me alive, was the pain. The pain, of our memories, and the pain, from the razor… Blaine found them though, under the toilet-trashcan, he freaked out. Now, I've gone back to scratching in myself, again. I know I shouldn't and I know you would be disappointed if you were by my side, but I just can't hold all this frustration inside me anymore… Or else, the pain will end up killing me.

National is soon, so I better practice… I just don't know what I should actually practice on.

I love you Nick, and I'll forever be yours.

Loving, your Jeff.

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Dear Nicky.

I wish you were with me, making me safe, loving me, and letting me love you. Nationals are in two days, and I can't do it without you, I just can't.

What am I'm going to do? I broke down at practice today… But they all kept saying that it'll help me, that they know you would've been proud of me… They're not going to let me drop out of it.

I can't do it Nick, I just can't.

Not without you.

I love you Nick, and I'll forever be yours.

Loving, your Jeff.

* * *

Dear Nicky.

Living without you, is like living with no air.

I can't breathe anymore, every breath I take feels like toxic.

I love you Nick, and I'll forever be yours.

Loving, your Jeff.

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**A/N: **So it was just this idea, which pop'ed up in my head, I got more comming, which will be surprising c':

**P****lease review and stuff! ~**


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